


In My Shoes

by Rory_writes



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, The Marauders - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Angst/Fluff, Bodyswap, Fluff, I can't tag for shit, M/M, Sirius and Remus are soulmates, THEY LOVE EACH OTHER OKAY?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-09
Updated: 2020-08-21
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:59:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25802500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rory_writes/pseuds/Rory_writes
Summary: During an argument, Sirius blurts out that he loves Remus in a world where that declaration to a soulmate leads to a body swap.Sirius is triumphant and excited and proud, but Remus is wary and scared.With Remus reluctant to say 'I love you' back and end the swap, the full moon looms down on them and Sirius has to come up with a plan to win Remus over.
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, wolfstar - Relationship
Comments: 14
Kudos: 45





	1. "Because I'm in love with you Remus!"

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I am back, this time with my first Wolfstar fic!
> 
> This is entirely based on and inspired by the TikTok series: In My Shoes. Created by TikTok cosplayer and content creator @idkmaybenotthatcool  
> Alex is incredibly creative, brilliantly talented, extremely cute, and makes amazing cosplay content on their account so please check them out! The 'In my Shoes' tag on TikTok is #inmyshoesws so if you like the fic and want to see it in real time, go there for the source <3 
> 
> (Fic written and posted with permission from @idkmaybenotthatcool)

Magic is as old as time, that is something wizards and witches know as fact. Another irrefutable fact is soulmates, they exist in the way that magic does. And, just like magic, it isn’t really something that can be understood by logic or reasoning. The way that soulmates work in the magical community is something wizards and witches are still trying to understand, but Sirius didn’t think they would ever make sense of it. How would anyone be able to make sense of souls swapping bodies? Science didn’t get it, magic didn’t understand it. It just was.  
The fact that a soulmate body swap happened after one part of the pair declared their love for the other was, in Sirius’ humble opinion, terrifying and bloody brilliant.  
A few months ago, James’ body woke up with Lily inside it the morning after he told her he loved her. She’d been mortified, stormed directly to where James (in Lily’s body) was waiting in the Gryffindor common room and told him she loved him too, just to be absolutely sure they swapped bodies again the next morning. James had teased her, saying maybe he wouldn’t go to sleep that night just so that they stayed swapped for another day.  
It was believed that all it took for a couple to swap back the next day was for both people to say ‘I love you’. Sirius had a feeling it was to do with having level footing, no secrets or lies, mutual love and understanding. Then they woke the next day in their own bodies. Granted, not everyone swapped back so easily, there were people who stayed swapped for years, which was another reason the idea of soulmates was so terrifying. 

“I know you’re scared Sirius…” James was saying, but Sirius cut him off with a glare. 

“I’m not scared,” he snapped, although he knew there was no real point in lying to James. Especially not about his feeling for their best friend. Sirius had been in love with Remus Lupin for quite some time. Or, as he’d just been reiterating to James, he’d been in love with Remus for five hundred and thirty-seven days. It was close enough to two years of being driven mad by love and longing for someone, and it was exhausting. Sirius hadn’t told Remus, yet, because it would mean finding out, for sure, if they were soulmates or not. He thought that he was ready to know, but with the way Remus had been treating him recently, he had a feeling Remus wasn’t. 

“You are a little bit,” James said, pulling his blankets over his shoulders like a cape. They had the dorm to themselves for a little while; Remus was studying in the common room and Peter had gone out with him for some reason or other, and Sirius didn’t really care where their fifth dorm mate was, he could sleep outside if he wanted. Sirius was content to camp out on James’ bed with him while he bitched, whined and complained about his unrequited feelings. Or maybe requited. Probably unrequited though? Remus kissed him like maybe he loved him back…  
Sirius sighed and ran his fingers through his shoulder-length hair, fingers getting caught in a tangle. 

“Maybe I am a little scared, but I think I want to know the truth. I should tell him,” Sirius admitted. James smiled and nodded encouragingly, but it didn’t make Sirius feel any better. “What if he’s not ready? Springing something like that on someone is a really shitty thing to do James,” he said. James raised his eyebrows at Sirius, trying to work out if Sirius was making a jab at him for springing it on Lily. Sirius smirked at him, mostly to let him know it had been a tease, and James pushed him with his socked foot. 

“Hey, at least I had the guts to do it,” James shot back. Sirius’ laugh turned into a groan and he rubbed his face. “What’s the worst that could happen?” James asked. Sirius lowered his hand and glared at him. 

“Is that a trick question?” He asked. James shook his head slowly and Sirius rolled his eyes. “What is the worst that can happen, if I tell Remus bloody Lupin that I love him? He could hate me, for one. We could switch bodies, or worse, we won’t switch bodies and I’m a fool,” he said. James looked as if he hadn’t quite thought his question through and he grimaced apologetically at him. 

“Okay, true,” he relented. “Just think about it Sirius, but you’ll tell him when you’re ready.” 

“Yeah,” Sirius muttered before opening his mouth to ask how he’d know he was ready, but Peter pushed open the dorm door and he clammed up. 

“Hey Wormy,” James said. Sirius nodded in his direction, frowning when he realised Peter was alone.  
“Hey lads,” Peter said. 

“Where’s Moony?” Sirius asked. 

“He’s in the common room, working on the potions homework still,” Peter said. “He’s got the cloak, so he’ll probably stay out past curfew.” 

“Oh,” Sirius said, sending James a side-eyed look before sliding from the bed. “I wonder if he can help me out with that, I haven’t done it yet,” he said. James rolled his eyes, but he smiled and waved Sirius off. James knew that, not only was Sirius in love with Remus, but they’d also been hooking up for months. Sirius hadn’t told Peter yet, wasn’t sure he ever would if this all went sideways. The door shut behind him and Sirius took a deep breath; he needed to talk to Remus. 

Remus was hunched over a small table he’d dragged in front of the fire, the armchair as close as possible to the flames as he could get it, the feather of his quill tapping against his lips as he thought about the homework. In the firelight his skin was starkly pale, the scars across his cheeks and through his lip standing out even more than usual. The fire turned his light brown hair to copper and his eyes were wolfishly gold. He was so beautiful, Sirius’ heart ached.  
“Hey Rem,” Sirius said quietly. Remus glanced over, the tapping of the feather against his lips stopping its rhythm. 

“What do you want?” Remus asked. Sirius resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Recently, Remus had been a little cold and distant with Sirius, which was yet another reason why telling him that he loved him felt like a terrible decision. Still, Sirius couldn’t pretend he didn’t see the way Remus’ eyes softened a little bit when Sirius smiled at him, or the way his shoulders relaxed when Sirius sat on the arm of his chair. 

“I wanted to be out here with you,” Sirius said, winking at him. Remus stared at him, eyes widening a little, before he turned back to the parchment on the table. 

“You can’t say things like that,” he said. Sirius frowned and put his hand on Remus’ shoulder, but he shrugged him off. 

“What is going on Moony?” He asked. “You’ve been kind of a jerk for a week now.” 

“Go away Sirius, I’m trying to work,” Remus said. Sirius felt a sharp pain behind his ribs at the words and he tried not to wince, even though Remus wasn’t even looking at him.

“You don’t really want me to go,” Sirius said, voice low as he leaned down to press his lips against Remus’ neck. Remus shivered and jerked away like Sirius had shot him. 

“What are you doing?” He demanded, putting his quill down. Sirius frowned at him and crossed his arms, before realising that made him look like a petulant child and uncrossing them. 

“What am I doing?” He snapped. “What are you doing? What happened, huh? Everything was fine Remus! Merlin forbid, we’ve been actually happy and now you’re, what, pulling away?” 

“Sirius…” Remus sighed, looking pained, and Sirius felt hope bubble in his chest that maybe Remus was going to explain, make sense, make this easy. Then Remus’ expression hardened and he picked up his quill, turning his gaze away again. “It doesn’t matter, let it go. Leave me alone,” he said. Sirius wondered if it would have hurt less if Remus had just punched him. 

“You’re impossible, you’re secretive, you don’t make sense, and I am so, so tired of this,” Sirius said quietly, staring into the fire. Remus didn’t even flinch.

“Yeah, and you’re arrogant and loud and impulsive, what of it?” Remus replied. They sat in silence for a moment, the crackle of the fire and Remus’ scratching nub on the parchment the only sounds in the empty common room. Remus stopped writing and stared at the fire too, Sirius watched him out of the corner of his eye. “Why does it matter, Sirius, any of this? Why does what we had matter?” 

“Had?” Sirius asked, incredulity colouring his tone. “What we had. Past tense?” 

“Sirius, just, stop and think, for once in your life,” Remus said. Sirius stood from the arm of the chair and glared at him. Remus looked surprised by the sudden movement and sat up straighter. Sirius had come out here to be with him, in peace and quiet and comfort, maybe kiss a little, and to actually talk about their clandestine meet ups and what honestly had felt like dates. This was too much. This was wrong. 

“Oh, piss off Remus,” he growled. “Don’t tell me to stop and think, not about this! It’s all I have been thinking about, for months, for longer than that even. Don’t condescend to me, you have no fucking idea what this has meant to me.” 

“What are you talking about? Why are you so annoyed?” Remus groaned, looking as if the conversation was draining all the energy out of him. The near apathy on his face made anger flood through Sirius’ blood, making his cheeks get warm. The dog deep inside him extended his claws. 

“Because I’m in love with you Remus!” He yelled. “Because I fucking love you,” he repeated, a little quieter. Remus went impossibly pale and Sirius realised he’d done it. He’d actually done it. Holy shit, he’d said it. Oh shit. Oh fuck. OH FUCK! 

“Siri-” Remus started, but Sirius didn’t give him a chance. He grabbed the invisibility cloak, his heart in his throat, and disappeared under it. Remus leapt for him, but Sirius sidestepped, watched Remus look around helplessly, and then bolted down the hall to the dorm room. He threw the door open, grabbed James- scaring the life out of him- and pulled him under the cloak. 

“What the…” James demanded, righting his glasses on his nose, but he trailed off when he saw the look on Sirius’ face. “What did you do?” 

“Bad, very bad, let’s go,” Sirius whispered. James nodded his head and let Sirius lead them out of the dorm to the sounds of a protesting Peter. They crept into the common room where Remus was still standing looking lost, staring at the fire, and Sirius felt James hesitate. Sirius shot him a warning look over his shoulder and James nodded, staying under the invisibility cloak and followed him out. 

“Sirius!” Remus called out when the portrait hole opened, but James and Sirius broke into a run before it was even close behind them. 

They didn’t stop until they reached an empty classroom and sank onto desks, dropping the cloak in a pile on a chair. James propped his feet up on Sirius’ desk and Sirius pulled his knees to his chest, not wanting to look at his friend.  
“Do you have the map?” He asked. James nodded, tapping his pocket, which meant Remus wouldn’t be able to find where they were, even if he wanted to. 

“What happened?” 

“I told him. I said I loved him. I fucking did it. I am such a moron, hell I am so screwed,” Sirius said. 

“Sirius no, it could be fine…” James said, but Sirius rolled his eyes and rested his chin on his knees. 

“You weren’t there James, I yelled it at him! Then I ran away,” he said. James made a disgruntled noise, or maybe it was amusement, but Sirius didn’t look at him. “What am I going to do?” 

“I don’t know Pads, but why don’t you start by telling me what exactly happened?” James said. Sirius groaned and closed his eyes, but he did. He sat very still, hugging himself, and told James about their argument. He threw in a good dose of complaining and moaning, and James, to his credit, stayed mostly quiet while he listened. He didn’t offer any advice in the end, just gave Sirius a one-armed hug and rose from the desk with a yawn. 

“I’m going to sleep here,” Sirius grumbled. James shook his head and pulled Sirius to his feet, muffling another yawn with his hand. 

“Let’s go, he’ll be asleep by now,” James said. Sirius let himself get covered under the cloak and the two boys walked slowly, tiredly, back to their dorm. Remus was curled up in the armchair when they crept past him, and he didn’t stir as they passed, but that didn’t stop Sirius from wanting to kiss his cheek. James tugged him onwards and they climbed into their own beds, spelling their curtains closed behind them. Sirius had a feeling he wasn’t going to wake up in his own body but he hated knowing there was a chance he could be wrong. Despite being nervous, Sirius fell asleep and for the first time in a long time, he slept without dreams.

***

Sirius woke with an ache in his shoulder and a twinge in his neck. He tried to massage the pains away as he stretched out, wincing and moaning. Why was he in so much pain? Where was he anyway, he hadn’t woken up in his bed. He blinked through his bleary eyes, yawned and ran his fingers through his hair, but there was something different. It was short, and thin, and straight between his fingers. A memory surfaced in the front of his mind and he saw himself, yelling that he loved Remus. The memory made his heart race and panic seized his body, making him freeze, and then the memory dissolved, leaving Sirius with a dawning realisation. He glanced down at the rumpled grey sweater he had on, the slept-in uniform, and the armchair he’d woken up in. A grin broke across his face and warmth spread through his- Remus’- body.  
“I knew it!” He said, feeling both elated and triumphant. Remus was his soulmate! He looked around the common room, realising how early in the morning it actually was with very weak light coming in through the gaps between the curtains on the big bay windows. “Hell Remus,” he mumbled, “why do you wake up so early?” He got to his feet, neatly tidying up Remus’ assignment and crept back to the dorm. Seeing himself asleep was a little weird, but he didn’t want to wake Remus up, he knew his body would resent it and Remus would feel trapped with the sluggishness. He put Remus’s things away, gathered a new uniform and slipped away to the bathroom to get changed. 

Getting changed without looking down was, well, it was a test of self-control. Thankfully, Remus had a lot of that and Sirius didn’t really need to try very hard not to be an asshole, and he didn’t want to cross any lines anyway. He couldn’t help himself from running his fingers over the scars down his neck, touching the one across his lips with his tongue. Looking at Remus’ reflection through Remus’ own eyes was beautiful and sad. Sirius could feel Remus’ disgust at himself, at the scars and the lycanthrope yellow of his eyes with the dark ring around them. He could feel how much Remus despised little parts of himself, the parts that Sirius himself loved about him. He gently touched the scars on his neck one more time before doing up his tie, reminding himself again that he wasn’t going to be an asshole today, and reached for his hairbrush. He had to swap it to his right hand, Remus’ dominant, and put it to his hair, but he immediately got it tangled and stuck in his fringe. He felt panic well in his stomach and yanked it, hard, out of his hair. He winced at the pain and patted the top of his head, shooting his reflection an apologetic look.  
“Sorry Moony,” he said. 

The only thing left to do was go down to the Great Hall for breakfast. As he walked down the halls and out of the portrait hall in the direction of food, he felt his stomach clenching with anxiety. Why was he nervous? He’d known, or at least hoped, that he was Remus’ soulmate, he’d sort of prepared himself for this. It was going to be fine. Remus would wake up, realise what had happened, tell Sirius that he loved him back, it would go back to normal. They could last a day like this. Who cares? Sirius didn’t. Remus did. He apparently cared about everything. Being in his body as he left the Gryffindor dormitory and made his way down the stairs was borderline uncomfortable. He’d known, or at least heard, that being inside your soulmate’s body taught you a lot about who they are, what they battle daily. Your soul sat dormant inside the body as it worked; you had your soulmate’s memories, their ways of thinking, their anxieties and reflexes. Remus apparently didn’t like the crowded Great Hall during mealtimes, and the anxiety was seeping into Sirius’ own thoughts. What was Remus going to think when he woke up in Sirius body? Was he going to be as happy as Sirius had been? Had he known, deep down?  
Sirius shook the thoughts away, took two deep steadying breaths, and walked into the dining hall, sitting down heavily at the Gryffindor table. It wasn’t very full in the hall, only a handful of early risers sitting at their tables, and barely any were Gryffindors. The three who were awake were seventh years, huddled at their end of the table over notes and homework as they ate without looking at their food. They all nodded and greeted Sirius, well Remus, and Sirius could feel the recognition. His mind supplied him with names that Sirius had never bothered to learn, but he didn’t say hello and they didn’t seem to care. How long was he going to have to wait for Remus to wake up? Was he going to be okay? Where was he? Should he have woken him up when he went into the room for a change of clothes?  
Sirius pushed the racing thoughts away and told Remus’s brain to get a grip and calm down. He’d been awake for not even an hour and it was exhausting having Remus’ brain. He stretched out his still aching shoulder and then fidgeted with his hair, smoothing it down to a presentable style Remus would actually have it. He just wanted to see Remus, then it would all be okay. 

“Sirius!” Someone hissed, planting firmly across from where Sirius was sitting at the table. Sirius had to blink away the disorienting feeling of seeing his own face in front of him, but he smiled at Remus, butterflies uncurling in his stomach. 

***

When Remus woke, he was curled up like he’d fallen asleep holding himself together. He groaned and stretched out, feeling across the cold covers of his bed before pausing and frowning up at the canopy. He’d fallen asleep in the common room waiting for Sirius to come back through the portrait hole. Had someone carried him to bed? He sat up and frowned down at his wrist where a red bandana had been tied. Had Sirius carried him to bed and left his bandana like a note? Remus doubted it, but what was more concerning was that his lip was sore, like he’d bitten it in his sleep. He prodded the middle of his bottom lip with his tongue, freezing when he felt the cold metal of the piercing. He would have definitely woken up if someone had pierced his lip when he slept, so that wasn’t what was happening. He put his hand behind his neck, a thoughtless movement when he was stressed, and his eyes went wide as he met long hair. He pulled the shoulder-length black locks into view and gaped at them, before seeing the tattoos up his right arm and alarm bells started ringing. A memory forced itself forward, the look on Remus’ own face when Sirius blurted out that he loved him. He could feel how angry and defeated Sirius had felt when he’d said it, and there was a flash of Sirius’s panic before the memory went away.  
“Fuck,” he said. “Oh fuck, you’ve done it now Sirius.” Remus didn’t really know what to do, but he peeked his head out of Sirius’ bed and saw his own bed empty. Was Sirius still asleep in the common room? Remus crawled from the bed and crept across the dorm of sleeping teenagers to the common room, but the space was empty except for a handful of first years sprawled across the floor doing each other’s hair. Where was Sirius, and more importantly, what had he done with Remus’ potions homework? He hurtled back down the hall, cursing Sirius for staying up so late because his body was exhausted, and went directly to the table beside his bed. Sirius had put his homework there, his quill and ink neatly stashed away. He supposed there was nothing else left to do now except to get changed out of the black shirt and into his, Sirius’, uniform. He found the uniform stuffed in the wardrobe and he pulled it out to take to the bathrooms. 

He sat down in front of the mirror with the clothes in his lap and forced himself to look at his reflection. Up until this point, Remus had been able to work on the adrenaline of waking up in someone else’s body, but now he had to face the reality of this. Sirius was his soulmate, for better or for worse. He looked in the mirror and bit down on the inside of his lip, letting his eyes roam over his face. Sirius knew he was attractive, that was obvious from looking at him through his own eyes, but there was still a deep-set insecurity instilled in him. Remus pushed away persistent memories as they tried to flood his brain, repeating all the abuse Sirius had heard in his life. Remus blinked a few times and put his hand in Sirius’ hair, running his fingers through it and marvelling at how soft it always was. He watched his reflection, heart hammering, as he put his palm and fingertips to Sirius’ cheek and trailed down to touch his lips, remembering what it was like to kiss him, feel the small cold ring against his own mouth, the way Sirius bit his lip when he wanted something and didn’t know how to ask for it. Sirius was beautiful, Remus had always thought so.  
He realised what he was doing and shook his head to clear his mind, which was easier to do in Sirius’ body than it was in his own, and looked down at the clothes in his lap. He needed to get dressed, which meant taking of Sirius’ shirt… Remus pulled the neck of the slept-in shirt and glanced down at his acquisitioned body. His mouth went a little dry and he let go of the collar. He would wear Sirius’ uniform over the top of the pyjama top, that wasn’t a problem, Sirius did shit like that all the time, nobody had to know anything was weird.  
Brushing his teeth felt strange and awkward for a minute before Remus realised Sirius was left-handed and swapped the tooth brush into his other hand. He started doing up the tie when he remembered Sirius never wore his done up properly. Remus wasn’t sure if he even knew how to do it, which made him wonder if he’d done Remus’ uniform correctly because he didn’t want to get into trouble. He should brush his hair, but there was just so much of it and it was in the way and so, so annoying, he just pushed it back in a huff. Nobody would notice if Sirius looked a little more scruffy than usual. The only thing left to do was go to breakfast, praying that Sirius would be in the Great Hall waiting for him. 

He was, which was good because Remus didn’t know what he would have done if Sirius hadn’t been there. The seventh years who he swapped notes with sometimes at breakfast were there too, but they didn’t look at Remus and he had to remind himself not to say hi; Sirius would not have said hi. Sirius was, however, sitting at the table with somewhat of a vacant look on his- Remus’s- face, and a small smile on his mouth. Why did Remus want to slap him and kiss him at the same time? It was his own face!  
“Sirius!” He hissed under his breath, not wanting to draw attention to them or the situation from others in the room. He sat down firmly across from him and Sirius looked over, smiling like everything in the world was okay. That this was okay. Which it wasn’t. They were body-swapped! This wasn’t supposed to happen to Remus, monsters don’t have soulmates. He sure as hell wasn’t supposed to be Sirius’s soulmate, he deserved so much better. Sirius’ body ached being this close to Remus’ body, Remus could feel it in his heart and stomach, a pull towards the other boy like their souls knew they weren’t supposed to be there. Remus knew that wasn’t what was happening, the ache and the pull and the feelings were familiar to him now. It wasn’t entirely a soulmate thing. It was a being-in-love-with-your-best-friend thing. Remus didn’t know what he was supposed to do now, but he knew he didn’t want anyone else to find out about this. He wasn’t even sure he wanted Sirius to know, which was going to be a problem. He should have said that he loved Sirius back last night, before this happened. He didn’t want to say it like this, staring at his own face. How could Sirius have run away like that? Why did it have to be like this? Remus wasn’t sure if he wanted to cry or scream or hide under his covers. He had never prepared himself for this. Monsters. Don’t. Have. Soulmates. Poor Sirius, he’d been through his own hell his entire life. His soulmate was supposed to make things better, not be another problem for him. Remus rested his elbows on the table and put his head in his hands.


	2. "I can play that game too."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius is too excited, Remus is terrified.  
> Mind games ensue :')

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyo please remember that this fic is based on 'In My Shoes' on TikTok, made by @idkmaybenotthatcool  
> Alex is, as I will continue to say, a creative genius so check out their content <3 
> 
> Also, I don't have a beta reader so for any constructive criticism or corrections I missed, please nicely let me know in the comments (or ignore them) xx

Seeing Remus, even though it meant looking past his own eyes to the person beneath, immediately made Sirius feel a little bit better. He was there, he was okay, and Sirius’s heart ached with happiness at having him close. His soulmate. It didn’t matter that Remus looked a little lost, his flighty fingers in his hair. Sirius knew how it felt to be stressed in his body, everything feeling as if it was getting closer, the fight or flight instincts demanding he do something other than sit still.  
“Remus!” Sirius said, smiling excitedly at him. Remus shot Sirius a wide-eyed look, putting his palms flat on the table between them.

“Shut up!” He hissed, taking Sirius by surprise. “Do you want the whole school to know?” He looked around nervously while Sirius tilted his head to watch, his heart starting to beat a warning. 

“That you’re my soulmate?” Sirius clarified. “Hell yeah!” He smiled cheekily at Remus, but Sirius could see that the other boy was sad; it was written in his eyes, the shape of his lips, the way his hands had stilled when he looked at Sirius. 

“Sirius…” he said hesitantly. Sirius could hear the mixed emotions in his voice, but there was love there, and he relaxed a little bit. He could feel hope bubbling behind his ribs, like a balloon was inflating inside him. 

“Hi,” he said. Remus bit the inside of his cheek and there was a pause as they stared at each other before Remus’ shoulders sagged a fraction. 

“Hi.” 

“Why do you look so stressed?” Sirius asked, trying to be careful, tactful. It was like his body knew that this was a precarious situation and he had to be calm and collected, even though Sirius himself wanted to blurt out how happy he was to know the truth, to know Remus was meant to be his. Remus, on the other hand, looked dumbfounded by the question. 

“Why do I look stressed?” He asked, exasperation making him speak a little louder than he had been so far. He glanced furtively around and leant forward a little to speak quieter. Sirius wasn’t sure he wanted to know the answer anymore. “Maybe because I’m stuck in your body. And your hair’s annoying. Your hands don’t work properly. And this piercing fucking hurts. Why did you even get it?” Remus spoke in an aggravated rush, finishing with a gesture at the hoop in the middle of his bottom lip. Sirius smirked at him, biting his own lip.

“’Cause it’s cool,” he answered honestly. He liked his lip piercing, and he knew Remus liked it too, at least when he was kissing it and not wearing it. Why did he have to be so cute, even when he was annoyed. Remus looked incredulous as he leaned back, one eyebrow raised- something Sirius wasn’t able to do in Remus’ body unfortunately- and he looked up at the heavens shaking his head. 

“For Merlin’s sake, Pads,” he said quietly, looking back at Sirius. 

“Here, I’ve brought you something,” Sirius said, smiling at Remus. He pulled the simple brown hairband off his wrist and offered it to Remus who looked surprised, and unsure, as he took it. 

“Thank you,” he said. Sirius shrugged, feeling a little bit shy under Remus’ surveying eyes. Sirius never felt shy when Remus looked at him, this was new, and it was unfamiliar, but he didn’t mind. 

“You always carry it around for me so…” his lips quirked in the corner, “just returning the favour.” He watched as Remus tied the wavy black locks back off his face, leaving half of it down. He looked ridiculous, but he looked cute too, and Sirius remembered how it felt for Remus to have his fingers in his hair. His stomach clenched a little at the memory and he would have given anything in that moment to be in his own body just to feel Remus’ touch.  
“Better?” Sirius asked. Remus looked awkward as he hugged his arms, but he nodded his head in confirmation, happier to not have Sirius’ hair in his face. Sirius gathered his courage and his thoughts; he knew Remus, he knew what it meant when he held onto his arms as if trying to hold himself together, and he knew what it meant when Remus made short bursts of eye contact with the inside of his cheek caught between his teeth. He was annoyed and unimpressed, and it was because of Sirius. He sighed and prepared himself. “Now, can you tell me why you’re actually so angry?”

“Do I really need to tell you?” Remus asked. Sirius felt nerves buzzing in his stomach, but before he could nod his head, Remus’ memory supplied him with the same image of Sirius declaring his love as he’d seen when he woke up, followed by Sirius disappearing under the cloak. He could feel how frustrated and confused Remus had felt at the time. “Sirius, you told me you’re-” Remus cut himself off to look around warily at the filling dining hall and fidget with his fingers, “you’re in love with me. And… you just… ran away.” He looked hurt, not just annoyed. Sirius felt the full realisation of what he’d done settle on his shoulders and he had to look away from Sirius for a moment. 

“Yeah… er… about that… I’m sorry,” he said quietly, earnestly, looking back at him. Remus looked gutted, like the apology hurt him to hear. 

“I know you are,” he said gently. Sirius took a steadying breath and nodded his head. 

“I… kinda freaked out,” he admitted. 

“But I’m scared too, I’m scared as fuck Sirius,” Remus said urgently. Sirius shrugged it off and shook his head. He wasn’t scared anymore, not really, how could he be when Remus was his soulmate! This was an easy situation to fix. 

“It’s okay, just say that you love me back and we will wake up in our own bodies tomorrow. Like everyone else,” he said, smiling encouragingly. It would only be for a day once Remus said it. They had nothing to learn about each other, they already knew everything. This was supposed to be simple.  
Remus broke eye contact and touched his face warily. Sirius felt the hopeful balloon pop inside him.  
“Remus…?” He prodded. Remus met his gaze for only a moment before he looked away, shifting uncomfortably. Sirius felt as if he’d been stabbed. “You don’t…” he said, because Remus didn’t love him. His body, the borrowed body, started throwing memories at Sirius as if desperate to make him understand. They were Remus’s memories of Sirius. Of him laughing, smiling, dancing like a fool in the dormitory. Remus’ hands on Sirius’ hips, their lips together with interspersed whispers and disbelieving smiles. The memories were paired with a slow, lazy warmth spreading through his body starting in his stomach, a racing heart, a gold, fuzzy glow of happiness. Remus did love him, or at least it felt to Sirius like he did. Why wouldn’t he say it? Why wouldn’t he admit it?  
Remus was looking uncomfortable and sad, but he shook his head quickly. 

“No, no! Sirius, it’s not like that! I…” Remus looked away again, as if this was all too much for him to deal with. ‘You what?’ Sirius wanted to demand, but he just pushed Remus’ memories away and composed himself. Remus did love him, he just didn’t remember that in Sirius’ body. Or maybe he just didn’t want to say it? Or something… but whatever it was, there was a way to fix it. Sirius just needed to work out how to fix it. In Remus’ body, with his quick thinking and his scarily good memory recall, with his own thoughts and understanding, they were the perfect team. He could come up with a way to fix this. 

“Okay, okay… um… I’m sure you just need a little reminder; it’s been a little while now.” Sirius made a humming noise as he considered the options, and the quickest, simplest way to make Remus remember was to kiss him. “Come on, kiss me,” he said, leaning over the table and taking Remus’ undone tie in his hand. 

“Wha- No! Sirius!” Remus said, pushing Sirius’ hand away with a wide-eyed look of alarm. Sirius resisted the urge to pout as he sat back, feeling confused and a little insecure. 

“Why not?” He asked. Remus looked around at the nearly full dining hall and then looked back at Sirius as if it was obvious. 

“We’re in public!” He said. Sirius rolled his eyes. Remus clearly didn’t want anyone to know about them, but he couldn’t understand why; soulmates kissed all the time- and often- when they switched. You don’t get to choose your soulmate, it wasn’t supposed to be a big, secret romance. 

“Fine,” he muttered. 

“Sirius, you’re me now. It’s weird! It’s like kissing myself,” Remus said, looking disgusted. Sirius grinned. 

“And isn’t it exciting?” He pressed. 

“It’s weird,” Remus repeated forcefully. 

“Maybe,” Sirius relented, but he was curious too. “But I wanted to know how it feels to kiss me!” He said. 

“You’re actually saying that,” Remus said, lips curled in distaste. “Why are you saying that? That’s so weird,” he groaned, not looking at Sirius who just rolled his eyes and shrugged again. 

“So… what now?” He asked into the silence that followed. 

“Just… don’t draw too much attention, okay?” Remus said, a hint of pleading that Sirius didn’t like hearing in his own voice. Sirius couldn’t help it, he felt a spike of defiance and challenge and he sat back in his chair, staring innocently at Remus. 

“Fine,” he said, smiling prettily as he touched his hair, “I’ll just… enjoy your body then.” He moved his fingers out of his hair, down his cheek to his jawline, touching gently and tracing lines where he’d kissed Remus dozens of times before. Sirius took satisfaction at the pained look on Remus’ face as he watched Sirius touching his body. 

“Wha- what are you doing?” Remus asked, his voice hoarse. He cleared his throat, but Sirius was enjoying the flustered look on his face as he trailed his fingers down his neck and back up the other side. “Sirius, stop!” 

“Doing what?” He asked, smiling softly as he touched his lips, tongue pressed between his teeth. 

“Stop touching-” Remus said loudly, freezing to look around before looking back and lowering his voice to speak through gritted teeth. “Stop touching me.” 

“Are you telling me you didn’t have a little fun this morning?” Sirius asked coyly. Remus looked embarrassed as he shook his head, barely able to meet Sirius’ eyes.

“No…” he said. Sirius believed him, but only because he knew Remus better than that. 

“Too bad. It was the first thing I did,” Sirius lied, running his fingers up his neck and touching his cheek. He kept his eyes wide and innocent, smirking as he watched Remus’ reactions. Remus covered his eyes and rested his elbows on the table, swallowing visibly as he tried to control his responses. 

“Sirius you’re-” he uncovered his eyes to shake his head at Sirius. “You’re incredible,” he muttered. Sirius knew he didn’t mean it as a compliment, but he smiled anyway, hand under the collar of his shirt. He raised his eyebrows, enjoying the feeling of having the upper hand, but Remus sat up a little straighter and after a nervous look around, matched Sirius’ challenging stare. “I can play that game too,” he said. Sirius wasn’t sure he had it in him, and with the soft pink blush on his cheeks, he didn’t think Remus would dare.

“Yet you’re the one blushing,” he pointed out, knowing it sounded like a dare. Knowing that was his intention. Remus hated not facing up to a challenge at the best of times, but in Sirius’ body, with Sirius’ impulsiveness, he didn’t stand a chance. Remus gritted his teeth, the muscle ticking in his jaw as he sat back, surveying Sirius and the situation he’d found himself in. Sirius smiled sweetly, dragging his nails down his collarbones. He watched with curiosity as Remus caught his lip between his teeth, and he froze when Remus released it and the piercing was not there.  
“Where… where’s…?” He tried to ask, but he didn’t know how to. Remus gave him a nonchalant look as he answered. 

“I swallowed it,” he said. Sirius didn’t want to believe him and shook his head slowly. 

“You didn’t,” he said. Remus tried and failed to suppress his smile, which filled Sirius with a small amount of relief. 

“Yes, I did,” he said, a clear lie this time. 

“Let me see it!” Sirius ordered. Remus was doing a much better job at looking innocent than Sirius could and he shook his head lightly, offering Sirius an apologetic shrug. 

“You can’t,” he said, looking away. When he looked back, his eyes were sparking with heat and knowing, like he knew exactly what his next sentence was going to do to Sirius. “Because I’m playing with it.” The way he said it told Sirius the piercing had slipped under his tongue, and the idea that Remus was playing with the piercing made his stomach ache with wanting. He swallowed, praying his cheeks hadn’t gone red as he slid his hand out from under his shirt and looked away. 

“Merlin,” he cursed quietly. He glanced over at Remus’s movement and watched as he took the metal ring off his tongue with his fingers. “Remus, put the piercing back!” 

“Fine,” Remus said, pushing it back over his wet lip. Sirius felt hot and uncomfortable as he fought the urge to chase the piercing back into his mouth. He coughed, trying to cover up the thoughts he hadn’t even said allowed. Meanwhile, Remus had taken out the hairband that was fastening his hair behind his head and was running his fingers through it. Sirius swallowed against his dry mouth, knowing how it felt to have Remus playing with his hair, tugging softly when he needed Sirius, being gentle when they were tired. Idle hands twirling it between his fingers, desperate hands pulling mercilessly. 

“Wha- what are you doing now?” Sirius asked, trying not to sound as weak as he felt. It didn’t matter, Remus knew what he was doing to Sirius, and he was taking great pleasure in winning back the control. 

“You love when I touch your hair, don’t you,” Remus mused, but it wasn’t a question. 

“I do,” Sirius agreed, wanting to tell him to stop, but also really needing him to continue. He put his thumbnail in his mouth and tried to look away as Remus pushed his hand up into the back of his hair and pulled, his head tilting back just a little. He watched out of the corner of his eye as he raked his hand down, bringing some forward and holding it to his nose. 

“It smells like you,” he said quietly. Sirius wasn’t sure if his heart was going to explode or stop working all together, but if Remus didn’t stop teasing, they were both going to regret it. Remus may have had a lot of self-control, God’s gift to Sirius at that very moment, but it could only get him so far before Sirius broke. 

“Fuck, okay, okay!” Sirius said, holding his hands out in platitude and surrender. “Remus, you won,” he said, leaning back and shaking his head. Remus leaned on his palm, staring up at Sirius from under his lashes and smirking because he knew what he’d done, and the fact that he knew, that he was happy about it, made it all worse. “Please stop!” Sirius begged, unashamed. Remus sat up, leant across the table and yanked Sirius close by his tie. 

“Next time, I am going to cut all your hair off and leave you fucking bald,” he said, voice dangerously low. 

“You wouldn’t,” Sirius said, but at that moment he wasn’t too sure. Sirius let go and leant back, curling his fingers in his hair one more time. 

“Wanna bet?” He challenged. Sirius didn’t, and Remus could see it, so he crossed his arms in front of him on the table and shook his head warily, his cockiness melting away. “Have you eaten?” 

“A little bit,” Sirius said. Remus nodded and took an apple from the fruit platter near them. 

“We have to go to class, and I swear to God Pads, don’t get me into trouble,” he warned. Sirius rolled his eyes, but he could see how much this meant to him, how serious he was taking this, so he nodded his head. 

“I will do what I can Moony, and I won’t let anyone know we’ve switched,” he promised. Remus relaxed, taking a deep, steadying breath. 

“Thank you,” he said with a small, sad smile. Sirius could only return it, fighting off the hurt that Remus hadn’t said he loved him, that he didn’t want anyone to know. It would be okay, they just needed to get through the day. 

“I’ll see you in the second class then,” he said. 

“Transfiguration with McGonagall,” Remus agreed. They both winced a little, if any of the professors was going to catch on to what was happening, it was going to be her. 

“Good luck with James in History,” Sirius teased. Remus shrugged it off easily and swallowed his bite of apple with a sour look on his face at the taste, not about James. 

“I’ve seen you and Prongs work together long enough to know how to pretend to be you,” he said. Sirius wasn’t so sure, but he would let him try. 

“Okay,” he said, climbing up from the table. “I’ll see you later then.” 

“Yeah, later,” Remus agreed, looking unsure again as he studied the apple. It was a green apple, which Sirius didn’t like, and he could see Remus struggling to eat it. Sirius couldn’t fight the smirk as he walked away towards Remus’ first class.

**Author's Note:**

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> 
> Feel free to follow me as well!  
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